What happen when people die? I am intrigued with the question. It has haunted my loving spirit, breached the walls I kept solid all these years. Why should I care what happens when people die until I am alive.
Why do we need to be associated with anyone? Why can't we not be alone and sufficient? Why can't alone be happy?
To be true , I am angry today. I want to die. Not die literally but I want to kill all my thoughts which constitutes me . Metaphorical death is what I want. Safe. Secured. No one will know that someone died.
Remember Augustus Water's cigarette, the high metaphor!
I want my thoughts to die that death. I want to know how does it feel to cut all the strings. The chain of thoughts killing all your instincts.
Don't worry ,I won't do any self-harm. I am not that brave neither I have that grace to cover it. But seriously tell me what happens when the thoughts die?
Does it hurt as much as it hurts to lose people? Is death worse than sudden disappearance?
Even after trying for ten years , Giving your heart, sweat and commitment Sometimes it's just not meant to happen...
So, what to do next? Weep and lament over the lost love which you never received? No, All you can do is to just let it go...
I understand ot looks difficult and you are afraid whether you are truly capable enough to do it!
Doubt sure is welcomed.
But believe me, then one day , it all comes to you. The courage to let go of everything that you had buried in your heart- wrapped feelings, discouraged ethics, uncertain signs and the soil you wanted to mix with theirs.
Above all you dig the courage of deleting 90747 messages of last one year which you read all those nights when the day was damp with the unwanted rain and night was dark with unwelcomed clouds.
The courage of deleting the number which was once your ocean and wiping the media and unstarring the messages on your whatsapp chat..
You know, it just happens. It just happens like it just happened, a matter of second...
No questions asked, no queries put forth. You give away the part, Afterall what would you do with a tree which is neither blooming nor withering ?
Nothing.. You do nothing with such tree. you just let uourself know that it's okay for it to be as it is..
You simply walk away because there is nothing you can do about it...
Now,I want to embrace you really tight this time, To cheer you up and to tell you that it's fine to feel light , it's okay to breathe light.
It's okay to not to be okay for sometime .. It's okay to recenter the location of your heart towards your new aspirations and begin again. . . .